The History of Friendly Hall and Fairlight

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Restoration Glass offers a fresh perspective on conflict, using the metaphor of wavy glass to show how shifting our view can lead to reconciliation. Kimberly Hart blends personal stories and practical advice to inspire thoughtful dialogue and healing in a divided world.

Fairlight Farm is the 62-acre remnant of the Boteler family farm, established in 1820 by Hezekiah Boteler, son of a soldier of the French and Indian War who was the first European settler in Pleasant Valley. The main house, built out in the 1850s, was named Friendly Hall and strived to be a place of welcome. Unfortunately, that welcome was stained with the sin of slavery and it paid a price for that sin as the Civil War surged back and forth across Pleasant Valley, Maryland, from 1861-1865. Friendly Hall was conscripted by both sides to serve in turn as field hospital or prison throughout those 4 years.

In 1864, a young Union captain from the Ninth New York Calvary was wounded and captured across the river in Virginia and brought to Friendly Hall where the Boteler family was ordered to care for him. Teenage Josephine Boteler was famously heard to declare, “Let the damn Yankee die!” as she refused.

In a romance novel that would be the beginning of a terribly unrealistic but ever so gallant love story. In real life, we cannot imagine, as we look at the division all around us, two such opposing forces ever crossing the divide to friendship, let alone love. But against the odds, this was a true love story. Josephine Boteler, slave owner, Confederate sympathizer, Rebel, married Captain Daniel Wade Lapham, Union officer and abolitionist, in 1867. Eventually, they returned to Lapham’s home state—where their family home took the name Friendly Hall in honor and memory of Josephine’s family and the bond they shared.

What prejudices did they overcome? Did Josephine recant her belief in slavery or her support for the Confederacy? Did Daniel overlook her beliefs and love her anyway? Is that even possible in today’s divided and angry world? Is it possible today to recognize the human dignity of the other in the midst of hate, fear, anger, and discord?

The Fairlight Forum was created to make that possibility real.

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